How to listen: real Friendship, Problems and Solutions

Yesterday´s task was to take a quote from twitter and use it to make a post. It´s kind of funny, the task, but I´ll give it a go.

This quote specifically touched my heart, because I´ve experienced some people who told me they love me or we were really good friends, but they never showed me. Those were empty words.

That´s what I want you to think about today. Are there any people in your life that tell you something like this, but actually never do anything that proves it?

First, think of a person.

Then answer these questions:

  • When I´m feeling bad, will this person make time to talk to me?
  • Will he/she help me up again?
  • Or will he/she laugh when I confess something?
    Will he/she take me seriously?
  • Do I feel comfortable talking to this person?
  • Does he/she make me feel good?
    Does he/she make me feel unworthy/foolish/…?
  • Can I trust this person?

You should be able to answer most of them out of your gut. We have very good instincts when it comes to these kind of things.
What did you answer?
If you answered that this person makes you feel negatively or that he/she won´t take you seriously or that you feel uncomfortable telling him/her the things that bother you, then you should reconsider.
Is this a person worth keeping in your friend zone/close to you or are you better of without him/her?

listen

Before choosing to be without a person, which is pretty hard to actually do, try and talk to him/her.
Tell him how you´re feeling and ask how you two could work things out?
This way, you´ll come straight to the point and you´re not blaming this person, but you´re offering to also take a step, if necessary. Sometimes problems are solved just by this, by taking. By telling the person how you feel and of course also listening carefully to what the person is saying to you. Maybe it´s all a misunderstanding. Maybe the person is feeling the same way or didn´t notice how he/she is acting. Maybe this person has problems of their own and is too busy with those to deal with yours.

If that is the case, then I´d say, it´s all good.

But if this person is not acting understanding and has´t calmed down after a couple of days, then you might actually reconsider the friendship. But that is a whole other thing, which deserves another post. (Should I do one?)

Now, I´d like to talk about the opposite side. You. 

  • Are you telling anyone you like/love them and what you´re saying are just empty words?
  • Are you being the friend who´s not paying attention to the other one?
  • Are you taking anyone for granted?

Then it should be you, who should try and change a little here and there.
If it is you, who is reading this, then don´t feel bad. We´re all humans and we make mistakes. We sometimes loose ourselves in our problems and don´t think about anyone else. Or we are just bursting inside with all the negative thoughts and experiences that never found their way out. We are begging for someone to listen, yet no one hears us.

I´d like you to be that special person that reaches out and picks somebody up. Not just to your loved ones, but to people you think are weird, people you exclude. I know, we know that sometimes we can´t help it. Reach out to those people. Or just listen to your instincts. There are too many people out there who have experienced pain in any form. People who also might seem very strong on the outside, but have things inside them, that nobody sees and that are eating them up, screaming in silence to get out.

The same should be with your loved ones. Don´t take them for granted. Because every friendship, every love is like a flower. It blooms, when it´s taken care of and it withers when it´s left on the side. 

friendship

Take care of your loved ones. Listen. And they´re sure to listen to you to. And if they don´t, well then they might not be worth it. And always remember, you´re human. You’re one human, you won´t be able to listen to everyone, unless you´re a therapist. You have your own life and your priorities and you shouldn´t be someone to whom everyone can come to cry. Because that can be really depressing and that´s just not how it works.

Listen to those who mean a lot to you, those who know are going to listen to you, too. That´s important.
And maybe take time to listen to those whom you might me treating badly or not worthy. Because you owe them that. If they won´t spill out their heart to you, leave them time, stop treating them the way you do and maybe smile sometimes. Because also just a smile can go a really long way.

Wow, that was a lot. I covered many different aspects of this quote and many different situations. I hope, I could help you in some way or I was at least able to bring these aspects to your awareness. They are really important to me, because I have had a lot of experiences in that field. So every word here comes directly from my heart. I´ve been in all of these situations and I can tell you, that you should take a careful look at the ones around you who you think are strong and can take on anything. Because those are sometimes the people who need you.

You can change something. You can be that person in someone´s life who actually listened and cared and turned one sad life around, into one that´s more happy. Isn´t that great?

xolittlesunshine2

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I am a nature-loving, reading and writing sport-freak with a passion for traveling, foreign countries and history. Besides that I love to listen to music, sing along, paint, sketch, draw, photograph literally anything and everything, talk a lot, laugh more, inspire people and enjoy life one day at a time.

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